Oh thank god, the kids are back in school
Whew. I am holidayed out. Two long four day weekends in a row, and the kids home for two full weeks, it’s a wonder I am not racing around the house tearing my hair out by the chunk and chewing the skin off my arms. The kids all seem ready to get back into the routine of school and daycare, too-Owen and Sam got their clothes set out last night (which okay, a “real” mom would do that every night, but not this mom. I always think of it, but when it comes to follow through I just suck), and Hannah and Eli fought over the straightener and somehow got that worked out, and well. Monday morning rolled around.
Things are a little wonky at our house just lately, though, and I would be hard-pressed to put a name to it. It isn’t that anything is wrong, per se, there is just a funky vibe running through everyone right now; I am hoping it is just too much togetherness. I know that Owen was totally thrilled to be going back to daycare this morning; he has had fun at home with the big kids, but he has missed his Jacquie and his “dends” (for some reason, he does not say his F’s. Odd, but whatever), and Sam was also glad to get back to school. I am not so sure about Hannah and Eli, really, but Hannah’s first performance is on Friday, and I know she is excited about that. Me, not so much, since this is the whole Stage Mom event, but it will be, I hope, fun.
It seems odd to be turning over another page on the calendar. Typically after the holidays I go into a bit of a January slump; no upcoming holidays to look forward to, just the long months of winter looming ahead. This year, though, feels different. I know that the last year zipped by in a flash, so as I got to work and change all of the calendars and such, it just struck me that there really isn’t that much time before spring, and birthdays, and in three seconds after that it will be summer. Isn’t that strange to think about? Now don’t get me wrong; in February when we get more sub-freezing temperatures and my joints ache continually from the cold and the damp, I might feel as if winter will never end, but for now, well, it just doesn’t seem that scary to me. Today is sunny, and while cold, well, such is the cycle of life and the seasons and the passing of time.
Sam asked me yesterday if we could have a “Just Us” day, and it reminded me how long it has been since the two of us really had any alone time together. It is important for each of the kids, I know, but Sam is your typical middle child, even though there are two siblings older than him, simply because of the age difference between him and the others. There are 7 and 6 years respectively between he and the older two, and 7 years almost to the day between he and Owen, so the poor kid has been feeling very left out and on his own as of late. He doesn’t fit on with Hannah and Eli any longer, and Owen is just a tad too young to be a real playmate. I have seen the signs that he has been feeling neglected, but it took him actually SAYING,”I need to just be with you for awhile” before I actually did something about it (Mom of the Year Award? It’s totally mine). So one night this week, Sam and I are going to go on a date; I am not sure yet what night, nor am I sure what we will do, but food will be involved and perhaps just a long walk in the cold night together. I just know that of all the kids, he is perhaps the most vulnerable right now, and it is not too late to intervene.
So-this is what my week looks like, and it feels really good to be back at work, back to my usual routine. Change is good and necessary and I am trying to learn to roll with it, but routine is also good in order to keep my sanity; may it be a day of balancing both.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 11:00
It’s funny how mums all over the world (or in the northern hemisphere anyway) are rejoicing that their kids are still in school. I know I am.
I think you should get the mother of the year award for taking your son out on a date. That is an excellent thing to do.
Mwa´s last blog ..Straight porn and the fulfillment of all my hopes and dreams, the two topics being entirely unrelated
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 12:00
@Mwa, He is just so lost sometimes, it breaks my heart, while at the same time exasperates the hell out of me. This will be good for both of us, I know, to even have a couple of hours to reconnect. I think we should invest as much and more time in our relationships with our kids as we do our partners, but funny how you never hear THAT talked about so much.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 11:35
You know I’m all about routine and balance. Love you and glad you had a nice holiday season overall.
April´s last blog ..One of those mothers
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 11:58
@April, It was good, but damn, I am glad it is OVER.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 13:18
It is so nice when the holiday disruptions are over and normalcy reigns once again.
Have fun with Sam, you both deserve it. It is often hard to find that one on one time. I have two kids and it’s difficult with work, home, life etc.
Just enjoy each other, that is what will matter the most and the fact that he knows he can come and say that and you will be there, makes him a very smart boy and you a very attentive Mom! So you so totally deserve the Mom of the Year award.
Catootes´s last blog ..a man on the move
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 13:28
@Catootes, I think that one of my biggest, I don’t know if you would call it failings or weaknesses or whatever, is making that time with each kid one on one. I get selfish-come home from work and do dinner and all of that, and I want ME time. So hard for me to balance it all, but I do know that when I make the effort, we are a stronger unit overall.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 13:32
Good for you and good for Sam to get some alone time together. Whatever you plan, I know you will have a good time.
Tara R.´s last blog ..New Theme: Duotone
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 14:56
@Tara R., Thank you, Tara. And he is easy to please, he just want to have some mommy time, so that helps!
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 15:31
My Sam has only been in preschool since the end of November and BOY was I ready to put him on that bus when it pulled up today! I’ve gotten so spoiled with having a little time to myself in such a short amount of time! I was definitely ready for the holidays to be done, it meant my Mom and her husband being back from their trip and Sam being back to school. Mother/Son date night sounds like a ton of fun, I think that’s such a great thing for a kid to have with his parent.
Rachael´s last blog ..2009 SNOTW Movie Awards
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 17:43
@Rachael, We don’t do it as often as we should, that is for sure.
and sure, yeah, we do get spoiled pretty easily. Owen has been waking up at 5:30 lately and I get all huffy because DAMN it, I get up at 5:30 just so I can have half hour of ALONE time. Grrrrr.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 16:18
Routines do not HAVE to be ruts.
And I think you’re a great, wonderful, fantastic mom. Any mom that always puts her kids’ clothes out the night before is whack in my book. You pay attention. You listen. You follow through. You rock.
Ms. Moon´s last blog ..It’s Cold
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 17:42
@Ms. Moon, It really is all about balancing it, isn’t it? Being spontaneous and flexible while also maintaining routine and stability? Which is a conundrum for sure.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 19:02
Funny–you have always reminded me so much of a friend of mine, and it just occured to me that, like you, she has a 9 year old son and two older teenagers that sometimes can’t connect with him in the same way they can connect with each other. Her younger one is also by a different dad, so that might have something to do with it too? Maybe? They love each other and all of course, but the age difference is just too great at certain times of our lives and they are in that stage now.
I’m glad you are going to have some Mommy/Sam time! Sounds like it’s much needed for both of you.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 19:50
@SJ, I think Sam particularly feels out of it, too, because he has a different dad than Owen as well, and doesnt know where his dad is. So he feels things a little more intensely, just like I bet your friend’s boy does.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 19:54
I was like that as a kid, too. I had loving parents and all, but I was constantly shuttled between two homes and each house had a pair of siblings. I was an only child, spending half my time in a different family of five. It always bothered me that I didnt have a “person” who had the same parents as me and who would always be with me at each house. So I relied on my parents a great deal for my emotional support and comfort…sounds like Sam does the same thing. I think me and Mr Sam might get along famously
SJ´s last blog ..The Aftermath
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 9:09
@SJ, I am sure you would; he is constantly looking for connections with people, more so than the other kids, I think because he does rely on my so much.
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 21:10
That initial mental image was quite icky m’dear. I’m glad you didn’t rend flesh from bone and all the kiddos got back to school happily. Date night with Sam sounds like a great idea- I love my siblings, but to this day my favorite times with my parents are when it’s just two of us.
I was glad to go back to work this morning- I love Boy but it was nice to hang with some grownups today.
Cat´s last blog ..Missing a Friend
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 8:16
@Cat, I worked every day except for the two Fridays, but I was STILL glad to send them back!
Monday, 4 January, 2010 at 23:44
I hear you. I thrive on routine. And the fact that the past 6 months have provided little of it for us has driven me up the wall.
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 8:16
@Seattledad (Luke, I am Your Father), Are you almost finished with the remodel? I imagine that will help considerably!
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 1:35
I know, I know … that whole calendar thing and the fact that while winter still looms ahead, the spring and summer will come – it always does. Personally I sit there and wonder what happened to all of those rainy, dark, cold days, where’d they go?
I think taking Sam out is an excellent idea. I’ve split up the girls and taken them out individually on occasion and some of those one on one moments are extraordinary ones I hold really close to my heart.
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 8:15
@Huckdoll, I don’t mind the gray days so much, at least most of the time, but I am always glad when they are gone, too, you know?
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 9:28
I’m right there with you on this. I’m trying to get back in the rutine of things and am doing OK but with my oldest daughter still here for another 10 days before going back to school I’m finding it’s not as easy as I would like. My goal is to reach normalcy by months end.
MindyMom´s last blog ..Can Friendships with the Opposite Sex (peacefully) Coexist with your Relationship?
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 9:40
@MindyMom, I would be happy with that, too, being back to normal by the end of the month!
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 10:33
I’m relieved the kids are back in school, too. Although we DID have a remarkably pain-free winter break.
I always feel like I don’t spend enough 1:1 time with my kids. It means so much to them. And to us too.
You’ll have a lovely date with Sam, I’m sure.
And there’s no need to lay out clothes the night before when they’re still in the clean clothes basket. Right?
michelle´s last blog ..Contradictions: Evolution vs Reincarnation
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 11:17
@michelle, aha, absolutely; this is actually why we all wear plain white socks-so we can dig through the basket and find a pair, even if they aren’t actually a PAIR.
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 11:37
Seriously? You are one of the REALEST moms I know lady!!
((hugs))
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 12:01
@justme, But do you ever get the feeling that you are an imposter mom? I know I do sometimes, like one day someone In Authority is going to come say, “Um, you are SO doing it wrong; we need to take them back.”
Tuesday, 5 January, 2010 at 18:27
I am SO glad the kids I nanny for are back in school!!!
Yaya´s last blog ..Prayers and Positive Thoughts Please!
Wednesday, 6 January, 2010 at 13:30
@Yaya, It is such a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?
Wednesday, 6 January, 2010 at 13:24
Roofie cancelled his last weekend with LB because Blondie’s kids weren’t there. He said “She’d just be sitting here alone.” WTF?
You have proved that you are a good mom in the post because you understand what he cannot. EACH kid wants INDIVIDUAL time with their parent. And I respect you greatly for recognizing and fulfilling that. I wish he could too.
Hanna´s last blog ..The rules of attraction
Wednesday, 6 January, 2010 at 13:29
@Hanna, Oh, see, THAT is the stuff that has the power to still hurt and cause rage even years after the fact-the things they do to their kids. I send you hugs and wish, so much, that I could make it easier for you. Or, barring that, flying over and kicking him in the balls until he gets it through his feeble little brain that the only person he is truly hurting is LB.
Wednesday, 6 January, 2010 at 21:21
Hey there Kori. Happy New Year. Hope the week is going well and everything is running smoothly at your place. And good for you and Sam to make time once a week for your date; that is awesome. I am so looking forward to the end of winter. It is my first one as a stay-at-home Daddy and I am getting cabin fever big time. Looking forward to longer days and sunshine so I can take the little man outdoors to play. Take care.
Mr. Shife´s last blog ..Random Acts of Shifeness
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 9:37
@Mr. Shife, Oh, I can’t imagine the feeling of being “stuck” in the house. I imagine he just has SO much energy, and nowhere really to let it all out!
Wednesday, 6 January, 2010 at 21:36
You sound good . . . so good. I love that. I love that you had a nice holiday. I love how you love your children.
I love the sound of your happiness.
LaskiGal´s last blog ..How to Rip Off a Label
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 9:37
@LaskiGal, Thank you so much; those words just made my day, really.
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 6:49
I’m exactly the same… and today… the kids are home on a snow day… so much for a routine.
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 9:37
@tena, Oh, isn’t that just enough to make you want to crawl back in bed? Grrr, I feel for you!
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 7:37
Normally, I’m not unhappy about my kids being home for the holiday breaks, but this time? I WANTED TO KILL THEM ALL. I don’t know why. They were just all so…hideously behaved. Squirrely and obnoxious. Monday was blisssss. I swear.
Aunt Becky´s last blog ..We’re Getting The BAND Back Together. The DISCO Band.
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 9:38
@Aunt Becky, I was lucky because the older siblings were home all day with them while I worked…but then when I got home it was like they needed to be attached to me all night long, needing entertained, etc….
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 9:25
Awww have a fun time with Sam. As a middle child I know how important it is to take some time to focus just on him. You know, the whole middle child syndrome.
I’m glad that you are optimistic about this year. I am too strangely enough. I’m just glad for the craptastic year of 2009 to be over and done with. I think my judgement on 2010 so far is based on the fact that 2009 was just so bad. I hope it is a great year for both of us
Erin´s last blog ..And in one fell swoop…
Thursday, 7 January, 2010 at 9:39
@Erin, Yes, he has that syndrome BAD, and I even understand why!
It is funny, I thought 2008 was worse than 2009, but 2009 wasn’t the BEST year, you know? I just hope for more peace on my part, no matter WHAT occurs.
Friday, 8 January, 2010 at 0:42
You are a “real” mom! Psh.
My 4 year old cousin can’t say her Fs either. It’s cute.
I hope all is well with you. <3
Friday, 8 January, 2010 at 8:24
Your poor Owen! I was a middle child and have vowed I would never let any of my children feel the way I still do. But I can say that since I only have two children thus far. I agree with you though that this year is going to fly by. I was just thinking about that same thing the other day and mourning over the loss of snow flurries and sledding. We finally got my son snow boots, and now the snow has stopped falling. Go figure.
Enjoy your time back at work and your kids back in school.
Amy´s last blog ..Bookstore Bliss